Gossip time
“It is a dog-like
demon, who appears every night and preys on young unmarried women.” A richly
clad village leader said.
Monk Miroku
nodded his head with concern.
“Don’t worry,
we’ll defeat the fearsome demon.” He assured the man. The rest of Inuyasha’s
group waited for Miroku to settle everything. Although the monk found them a
rich house to spend the night, it seemed, that tonight they will have to
perform real exorcisms instead of usual fake ones.
“You will have as
much food as you can eat.” The village leader said enthusiastically. “And of
course my home is your home till morning.”
Miroku smiled
widely.
“It is settled,
then. How about the young women?” he asked, lecherous grin on his face. The
monk’s hopes quickly dissolved, as he got whacked with hiraikotsu on the head
by furious Sango.
“Ouch!” Miroku
whined.
Suddenly,
Inuyasha tensed, sniffing the air. He recognized a familiar scent.
“Sesshomaru is
coming.” He warned his companions. Soon after that they saw a huge white dog
gliding under the clouds. Everyone gasped. Sango narrowed her eyes.
“That is…” she
began.
“It’s Sesshomaru
in his true form.” Kagome explained, having in mind, that only she and Inuyasha
were the ones to see the dog demon in such a form.
“He’s huge.”
Shippo commented. Inuyasha folded his arms.
“Keh! Our old man
was way bigger.” He muttered.
At the sight of
the inu-youkai approaching their village, the peasants panicked. They were
running to their houses and hiding their daughters.
“Mononoke!” they
screamed.
The village
leader paled and pointed his shaking finger at Sesshomaru.
“That’s that
youkai!” he exclaimed. The hanyou rolled his eyes.
“Nah, it isn’t.”
he answered. The man turned purple o the face.
“Do you accuse me
of lying?! When I say, that it is the youkai, that’s plaguing my village for
months, it is the truth!” he stated firmly. Inuyasha narrowed his eyes and
glared at the man, lifting his fist.
“Do you think,
that I wouldn’t recognize my own brother, you fat idiot?” the hanyou snapped
and the village leader gawked at him, surprised.
”B-b-brother?” he
stuttered.
However, Inuyasha
didn’t have a chance to answer, as the ground trembled when Sesshomaru’s huge
form landed in front of their group. They noticed a figure clad in brightly red
kimono on his back, waving to them happily.
“Mai!” Kagome
exclaimed. The other girl slipped off the dog demon’s back and ran to hug her
friend.
“Hi, everyone!”
Mai greeted Inuyasha’s group. The inu-youkai assumed his usual form and looked
at his younger brother.
“Guard her.”
Sesshomaru said dryly. “If something happens to her, I will kill you.”
Inuyasha gawked
at his brother and his sudden demand.
“What…” he began,
but the dog demon interrupted him, addressing Mai.
“Woman, I will
retrieve you in two days.” He said. The girl nodded.
“Okay. See you
then.” She answered, smiling, and waved to him. The inu-youkai transformed
himself into the lighting ball and darted off.
Everyone’s eyes
turned on Mai. Inuyasha approached her and glared at her suspiciously.
“What the hell
are you doing here?” he asked. The girl glared at him back.
“It’s not your
business.” She snapped at him. “I came to visit Kagome.”
“Keh!” the hanyou
folded his arms. “Are you expecting me to buy, that that bastard Sesshomaru
carried you all the way here on his back, so you could gossip with Kagome?”
Mai grinned
widely.
“That’s right.”
She said, proud of herself. “I might have misled him a little, though.”
Inuyasha shut up
and silence fell. Kagome came to Mai and hugged her.
“It’s great, that
we’ll have finally chance to talk! There’s an indoor onsen here, so maybe we
could use a long relaxing bath?”
Mai grinned back
to Kagome and nodded enthusiastically.
“With pleasure!”
she exclaimed and looked at the demon-slayer. “Sango, you’re coming too,
right?”
“Of course.”
Sango nodded, equally excited about the perspective of a hot bath and rest. She
scanned Mai up and down. “Mai-chan, you should choose your clothes more
carefully next time.”
Both Kagome and
Mai looked at her, confused. Miroku and Inuyasha nodded their heads. The brown
haired girl looked down at her attire and furrowed her brows. Right, it was
extremely fancy, but aside that everything seemed to be perfectly okay with it.
“Umm… why?” she
asked the demon slayer. Sango’s cheeks flushed slightly.
“It’s just…” she
began, slightly embarrassed. “It is inappropriate for a maiden like you to wear
this.”
Mai tilted her
head, baffled with the explanation even more. Kagome also gawked at Sango
without having a clue, what the demon-slayer meant. Seeing the confusion on the
girl’s faces, Miroku sighed heavily and decided to take the burden of
explaining it properly. He cleared his throat.
“As you aren’t
from this time you probably don’t know it, Mai, but the kimono you’re wearing
is strictly reserved for the women of royal upbringing, that have just married.
The red color of your uchike represents a wish to bear a healthy child.” The
monk said seriously.
“Oh.” Mai
muttered. She should have expected something like that from her devilish
mother-in-law.
So the demon woman even had an ulterior motive when it came to
choosing the clothes for the girl.
“She couldn’t
have possibly known.” Kagome said, defending Mai.
“Hmm…” Inuyasha
muttered, approaching the brown-haired girl and carefully examining her richly
embroidered uchike. The hanyou grabbed her sleeve and touched the fabric,
furrowing his brows. “I could have sworn, that my mother had the same. She
said, that she got it from my old man, when she told him that I will be born.”
Mai stiffened at
the words. Crap. Too much information. She wasn’t eager to share the “happy”
news with her friends yet and got seriously scared, that they’d figure it out.
“It’s just a
coincidence.” She said quickly, pulling the sleeve out of Inuyasha’s grasp.
“The woman at the shop said, that it was fashionable sometime ago.”
The hanyou raised
his eyebrow.
“Two hundred
years ago?” he asked suspiciously. Mai gulped. Luckily, Kagome helped her out.
“Just drop it,
Inuyasha.” She said, dragging Sango after her and gripping Mai. “We’re going to
the bath!”
Mai wrapped the
towel around herself and slipped into the hot water, where Kagome and Sango
were already waiting. She relaxed.
“Fabulous!” she
purred, contented.
“Yeah.” Kagome
agreed and Sango nodded. The black haired girl glanced at Mai, who was soaking
with a facial expression of a pure bliss.
“Mai, how’s the
travelling with Sesshomaru?” she asked, moving closer to her friend. The girl’s
eyes snapped open at the mention of her demonic husband’s name. Suddenly she
remembered, why she came here in the first place. Mai sighed.
“It’s okay most
of the time. Quite safe, and the company is good. Oh, speaking of company,” she
looked at Sango. “Kohaku is travelling with us. But I guess, that you already
know it.”
The demon’s eyes
opened wider.
“Kohaku… is he
all right?!” she exclaimed, worry all over her face. Mai smiled at her.
“Sound and safe.
Don’t worry about him, I’m sure that Sesshomaru will keep him in one piece. I
think, that it will be better if he stays with us for some time, though.” She
said. At her words Sango looked like she just had been slapped.
“He doesn’t want
to see me?” she asked frantically. Mai shook her head.
“No, it’s not
that. It’s just… he has to cope with a few things on his own. Kohaku loves you
and feels guilty about his deeds. He isn’t ready to face you yet, Sango. You
have to give him some more time.” Mai explained the boy’s feelings the best she
could. The demon-slayer nodded, acknowledging her words.
“I understand.
Will you tell Kohaku, that I love and miss him?” she asked Mai. The
brown-haired girl smiled.
“Sure.”
The girls stayed
silent for a while, before Mai spoke
“Kagome, I have a
certain problem. I thought, that you could give me some advice.” She said,
gaining her friends attention. Kagome’s eyes brightened and she clenched her
fists with fanatical determination.
“You can count on
me!” she exclaimed. “Just tell me, what it is about.”
“Hmm…” Mai
hesitated to speak, as she was considering, what she could tell her friend and
what was out of question. “I have some problems with Sesshomaru recently. We quarrel
a lot and he’s really unbearable…”
Kagome’s smile
dropped and she grabbed Mai’s shoulders, looking her seriously in the face.
“Did he do
something to you?” she demanded, emitting scary aura. Mai shook her head.
“No, no, it’s not
it!” she said quickly. Actually, now she feared the most, that Sesshomaru would
smooch her to oblivion or prey on her chastity, but she couldn’t possibly tell
Kagome that. She looked at her friend, who calmed down a little. “I just wanted
to ask you, how you handle Inuyasha, when he has those horrible attitude
problems.”
“Oh.” Kagome
furrowed her brows, deep in thought. “Sometimes I try to talk some sense into
him, but it doesn’t have any effect. I usually ‘sit’ him.”
“Hmm… I don’t
think, that it would work on Sesshomaru, even if Mai would get another beads of
subjection.” Sango said. Kagome nodded in agreement.
“Why not?” Mai
asked. Personally she thought, that it would be quite a show to slam the
demonic asshole into the dirt, like Kagome did to Inuyasha. Kagome’s facial
expression showed, that she was sharing Mai’s opinion. Sango sighed.
“Isn’t Sesshomaru
rather resistant to the holy things?” the demon-slayer asked.
“Damn. You’re
right, Sango-chan.” Kagome said. “He once caught my purifying arrow with his
bare hands. He’s pretty much resistant to everything.”
“I’m in a deep
shit.” Mai commented. Damn, why Sesshomaru must be a horribly powerful
Taiyoukai? He wouldn’t be that troublesome if he wasn’t.
“How about smelly
powders?” Sango suggested. “The youkai with acute smell sense are often weak to
them.”
Mai’s eyes
brightened. She clearly remembered, that he disliked them. In case of emergency
it could prove useful – he wouldn’t be knocked down, but a little distraction
was better than nothing at all.
“It’s a great
idea, Sango!” she exclaimed, clapping her hands. “Could you borrow me some?”
“Sure.” The
demon-slayer replied and also moved closer to Mai, narrowing her eyes. “What is
it?” she asked, brushing Mai’s hair aside. As Kagome gasped, covering her
mouth, the girl realized what her friends saw and blushed fiercely.
“Mai, you’ve got
hickeys all over your neck!” Kagome exclaimed happily, her eyes glistening
mischievously. Sango also smiled, her cheeks flushed a little.
“Without doubt,
those are the kiss marks.” The demon-slayer giggled. “Who made them?”
Mai’s face turned
scarlet. She couldn’t just casually say, that it was the fearsome demon
Sesshomaru, who enthusiastically smooched her all over the morning after they
got married. Kagome grinned smugly.
“At least we know
now, about what she and Sesshomaru are arguing.” She said to Sango. The
demon-slayer nodded. Both of them were behaving as though Mai wasn’t even
present.
“Sesshomaru must
be jealous of that man.” Sango stated.
“Eh?” Mai gawked
at the girls. Did that mean, that they didn’t figure out, that it was
Sesshomaru’s work? Kagome looked her in the eye.
“You must tell us
all about this mysterious stranger, who kissed you like that!” she exclaimed
happily. Sango also nodded, equally interested in the story. Mai felt a wave of
relief wash over her – they were clueless. She decided to make up some story to
satisfy her friends’ curiosity.
“There was this
guy, that I met while Sesshomaru was away. It happened in some village. He was
the samurai, who saved me from a bandit, while I was shopping on the market. We
talked and he was so romantic and then he did it… but only kissing! ” she said
harshly, seeing, that Kagome was getting some crazy ideas. “Then I left with
the demonic bastard never to see the man again.”
Sango sighed, the
dreamy look on her face.
“To meet a
stranger in secret, it’s romantic. You must have fell in love with him…” the
demon slayer sighed again, feeling moved by the short story. Kagome wiped her
nose with the hem of her towel.
“Of course she
loves him.” Her friend stated firmly. “Right, Mai?”
Mai gawked at
her, shifting uneasily under Kagome’s gaze.
“I wouldn’t call
it so…” she began, but the black haired girl cut in.
“Maybe you just
haven’t realized it yet. Sango-chan didn’t realize right away, that she loves
Miroku.” Kagome lectured Mai.
The demon-slayer blushed fiercely and backed
away, not wanting to draw more attention than necessary. As Mai looked into
Kagome’s face, she felt that all hope for her was lost. Her friend had her
match-making-mission facial expression, that always indicated, that she was
about to meddle in someone’s private life. Unfortunately, Mai was now that
someone.
“You didn’t have a boyfriend before, right?” Kagome asked. Mai shook her head.
The strolls with the murderous monster Maeda Goemon could count as dating, but
she didn’t want to even remember that. The black haired girl smiled
triumphantly. “Then you may be in love and have no clue about it. There are
some signs, that indicate that you love the boy.”
“Signs?” Mai
repeated, tilting her head and wondering if Kagome knew that from her own
experience or rather read a few teen-magazines too much. Her friend cleared the
throat.
“Were you
self-conscious or embarrassed or your heart was beating super-fast?” she asked.
“Kind off…” Mai
muttered, thinking that it would be hard not to be self-conscious when a
half-naked man lies on you and tries to do you. Especially if he is a handsome
devil.
“Do you feel like
relaying on him?” Kagome asked. Seeing Mai’s confused face, she rephrased the question.
“It’s like me and Inuyasha – I am certain, that he will come to save me.”
“That matches.”
Mai agreed. It was the basics of her relationship with Sesshomaru: she got in
trouble and he always saved her. Kagome’s eyes were practically glowing with excitement.
“When you think
about him being with an another woman, do you feel jealousy? You know…” she
inquired.
“Maybe some…” Mai
agreed, remembering her own murderous thoughts towards Kasumi, when she kissed
Sesshomaru on the cheek. Or when she saw him in the brothel… Unconsciously, she
clenched her fist, what made Kagome and Sango burst in laughter. The girl
narrowed her eyes, glaring at her friends. There was nothing funny in that all
her answers were accidentally positive. The black-haired girl patted her the
back.
“Mai, honey,
you’re in love with him.” She decided.
Mai stared at her
friend. It took a while till Kagome’s diagnose reached her. She in love with
Sesshomaru? Suddenly blood rushed to her face, covering it in bright red blush.
“No way!” she exclaimed,
angry at the mere thought. “It’s not possible… not with that arrogant,
self-centered, idiotic bastard! I hate his guts! Ugh! He sickens me, that
self-satisfied smirk of his!”
Kagome moved
closer to Sango.
“She’s in denial.
I guess, that every girl goes through that phase.” The schoolgirl whispered to
the demon-slayer.
“It can’t be
helped.” Sango agreed.
The girls got out
of the bath and went to relax in the garden, while the boys were roaming
somewhere around the village. Kagome and Sango kept teasing Mai about romancing
with an imaginary mysterious stranger, claiming that she was in love with him.
Mai sighed
heavily, as the real situation was far more complicated, than her friends
pictured it. She was now a demon’s wife and had mess in her head. Sesshomaru
was making her mad most of the time, as his character and behavior were…
unique, given that he was a youkai. He wasn’t a bad person though – he had a
lot of positive traits, that Mai acknowledged: he knew what honor was, didn’t
lie, was brave, was ready to risk his life for the ones he cared about without
a hesitation, sometimes he even was kind in his own way. If only he had a
better attitude… she could grow to…
She shook her head. What the hell was she
thinking. Good character traits? The bad ones overweighed the good ones. And he
was a demon! And it didn’t matter how sinfully attractive he was! The girl
blushed at the thought of seeing him only in his hakama. Damn, he looked
horribly tempting that time, especially with his skin damp with sweat, that
really awoke some animal attraction in her. Mai was at loss – she didn’t know
anymore what did she want. Sesshomaru was usually a horrible demon bastard, but
on the other hand he could be a decent guy, almost likeable. She even enjoyed
his company sometimes…
The truth was,
that she was sentenced to spend the rest of her life with him, whether she
liked it or not. It was possible to get divorced, but rather unlikely. Maybe it
was the time to focus on positive things? She brushed her fingers over the
silver hairpin, he gave her once. Sesshomaru was not bad at all…
“What’s wrong
with her?” Inuyasha asked casually, pointing at Mai, as he, Miroku and Shippo,
along with Kirara came back from the village. Kagome and Sango grinned widely.
“Oh, Mai just realized,
that she is in love with certain handsome samurai, but she’s still in denial.”
Kagome answered happily. Mai narrowed her eyes and whacked her friend on her
stupid head.
“Ouch!” Kagome
yelped, clutching her aching head, but still smiling smugly. Mai folded her
arms.
“I’m not in love
with him.” She stated firmly, but her friend didn’t want to give up.
“Yes, you are.
Admit it!” Kagome exclaimed. Sango muffled a giggle with her hand. Mai was
lifting her fist to punch her friend again, when Inuyasha let out an impressive
yawn, showing all his teeth.
“I pity the guy.”
He said. The girls looked at him.
“Why?” Sango
asked. The hanyou smiled mischievously, looking straight at Mai.
“Because he
doesn’t have much to live. Sesshomaru will slice him, once he finds out.” He
said, grinning widely and sending Mai cheeky look. “He won’t let anybody HUG
her.”
The girl narrowed
her eyes and glared at Inuyasha hatefully, knowing what he was talking about –
the time he caught her and Sesshomaru embracing. Damn him! Damn her husband and
all his relatives! Technically, the hanyou was now her brother-in-law. Great,
another fantastic family member to the collection, along with the insufferable
husband and mother-in-law from hell. Just wonderful.
“We must think,
how to ambush this youkai tonight. It is almost sunset.” Miroku spoke, luckily
averting everyone’s attention from Mai’s complicated love life.
“I think, that it
will be the best to bait him.” Sango voiced her expert opinion. “The village
leader said, that the demon prays on the young unmarried women.”
“All right!”
Inuyasha exclaimed loudly, slamming his fist against the palm. “We’ll bait him
with a woman then.”
“Who should be
the bait?” Sango asked. The hanyou grinned.
“Isn’t it
obvious?” he asked and pointed at Mai. “Her.”
The girl narrowed
her eyes and stalked to Inuyasha. She grabbed his hair and gave it a tug,
emphasizing her protest.
“I’m not going to
be a bait!” she hissed out at him, pulling the hair with every word. “Pick someone
else!”
“You’re the most
useless!” the hanyou shouted at her back, fighting to free his hair from her
grip.
“Let go, you crazy wench!”
“Shut up you
brainless dog!” she shrieked back. Kagome rolled her eyes and came to them.
“Both of you,
stop it! You’re behaving like the kids from kindergarten!” she scolded Mai and
Inuyasha, trying to pull them apart.
The girl let go of Inuyasha’s hair and the
hanyou also made a step back, growling at her. Kagome sighed heavily.
Miroku scratched
his chin.
“Inuyasha is
right.” He said slowly. “You are the most suited to be the bait. Sango and
Kagome-sama can be needed in combat.”
Mai frowned.
“And I’m
useless?” she muttered. The monk smiled.
“Of course not!
You can help us by luring the youkai into our trap. As a young, unmarried woman
you will be a perfect bait!” he was convincing her.
Mai tilted her
head. Miroku didn’t know, that of all the girls she was the one who was a
married woman. But some demon wouldn’t possibly know that, would he? Besides,
it wouldn’t hurt to help them out.
“All right. Just
tell me what to do.” She agreed finally.
An hour later,
Mai was sitting in the garden, alone. She was supposed to act as a weak
defenseless woman, so she was just resting on the bench and staring at the
trees. Kagome, Inuyasha and the rest were hidden in the house, ready to strike
once the youkai shows up and comes closer. The girl thought, that she would die
from the boredom, when she heard a rustling in the bushes. A demon showed up! A
large black and white dog was crawling towards her. Mai was observing it with
the corner of her eye, now wanting the youkai know, that she realized his
presence. The dog was quite big, like a small horse, but in comparison with
Sesshomaru he appeared to be a tiny puppy. Suddenly the demon stopped and was
sniffing the air for some time, before he disappeared. Mai was sitting in place
for some time, till it was apparent, that he wouldn’t show again.
“Inuyasha.” She
whispered, sure that he’ll be able to hear.
“What?!” a rude
whisper answered her.
Mai rolled her eyes at his attitude, that had to be a
family trait.
“Maybe we should
switch the bait. Maybe he’ll like Sango or Kagome more.” She suggested.
Mai
suspected, that the demon somehow figured out, that she wasn’t an unmarried
woman. Maybe it was some sixth sense or it was the fault of her attire – either
way, he was right.
There was silence
for some time, as Inuyasha and the rest were making a decision. Finally, Mai
heard Inuyasha’s whisper again.
“All right, come
here.” The hanyou said quietly.
The girl stood up and marched to the house. She
joined the group inside. For the new bait they chose Kagome, who went and sat
on the bench.
Five minutes
didn’t pass till the demon approached Kagome. Like before, he stopped to sniff
the air, but this time he darted forward.
“Inuyasha, now!”
Miroku cried, sliding the door open.
The hanyou leapt
into the garden. His sharp claws glowed in the moonlight as he swiftly moved
his hand.
“Sankontessou!”
he exclaimed and effortlessly slashed the startled demon, finishing everything.
“That was quick.”
Sango commented.
“I pity the
youkai. He didn’t stand a chance.” Mai added.
Even though both Inuyasha and the
his opponent were dog-like demons, with her brother-in-law being only
half-demon, the hanyou had still a crushing advantage. Apparently it was the
blood of a Taiyoukai, that ran in his veins. The girl wondered, if she ever
would have a child, would be it as strong as Inuyasha? Probably yes.
“Keh! That was
easy.” The hanyou snorted. “Let’s go eat.”
Author Note:
Okay, I have a survey for you. Please write me in your comments which aspect of the story you like most. Please be harsh and try to give points from 1 to 10:
- humor
- action and plot
- love interactions between characters
- evoking emotional response from you
- original characters (Mai, brat Akira, master Sekiguchi, dead captain Harada, daimyo Asakura, Shinji etc.)
ok so here it is my opinion if you need it.
ReplyDelete- humor--8
- action and plot---10
- love interactions between characters---9
- evoking emotional response from you----10
- original characters (Mai, brat Akira, master Sekiguchi, dead captain Harada, daimyo Asakura, Shinji etc.)---10
Thanks for the opinion. Maybe I should work on humor... everyone gave it 8...
DeleteAuthor-san, please update...and, for your survey. I sent a PM to you, regarding my opinion in everything about the story. Hope it helps...
ReplyDeleteWow. Your review was amazing. I'm really impressed and grateful that you scrificed your time to write me such an extensive message. Thanks for the sincerity and of course I don't mind if there's a pinch of criticism. I'm rather immune to it and I think that constructive critique is much more valuable than simple flattery since it helps excel.
DeleteOnce more - thank you!
It was a pleasure :3 hehe
DeleteHa! Even if she denies it, the proof of her marriage is there
ReplyDeleteHumor: 8
Action and plot: 10
Love and interaction between characters: 9
Invoking emotional response: 9
OC: has to be harada, since I liked him so much with so little screen time
-Midnighter67
Thank you for evaluating the story. I liked Harada too. He was my favourite character. It's a shame I've murdered him.
ReplyDeleteHeyho
ReplyDeleteCongratulation for this amazing story
I never left a review before, mostly because of my terrible English, but your story is worth every review you can get.
I'm really in love with your writing style and your ability to keep every character in character^^. I like Mai and all the other Oc you put in your story.
humor 9 <--- I don't think you have to work on your humor. Often it simple don't fit in the situation and the funny parts in your ff are hilarious:D
action and plot 10 <---In this point you don't have to change anything. This is simply perfect
love interactions between characters 10 <--- maybe a bit scanty but there is nothing you can do about it. Sesshomaru or in this arc Mai are spoiling the mood :O
evoking emotional response from you <-- I'm sorry, but i don't get this point^^ English is apparently not my first language and google isn't helpful either T.T
original characters: I like every Oc, naturally Mai the most. Beside her I've grown to like the little Akira (he was an oc, right?) Even the evil one had there important parts and made everything interesting
I think this is everything I've to say:D
This is really an incredible piece of work. You can be proud of yourself.
Maybe someday I can read an original book from you^^
I can't wait to read the next chapter, so please update fast *-*
Again I'm sorry for my English, but I'm the proof, that your story is international popular.
Hahah, I just need to feel special again, 'cause I could never write a story like yours.
Even when I'm not the only here from an other country:D
You are going to read more from me hopefully soon^^
- See ya Mizuki Meiro
Thank you very much for the charming review.
DeleteI especially Loved this chapter!:)
ReplyDelete- humor-10
- action and plot-10
- love interactions between characters-10 (The way you make Sesshomaru lovey is incredible)
- evoking emotional response from you-10
- original characters (Mai, brat Akira, master Sekiguchi, dead captain Harada, daimyo Asakura, Shinji etc.)9
I love the way you write, etc. Sorry if my rating isn't harsh enough~Quagomay
Thanks! You're not harsh at all!
DeleteHI!!! I love this story so here are my critiques....
ReplyDelete- humor-8 <-- I like the jokes and funny situations alot but I feel sometimes it wasn't needed.
- action and plot-10 <-- Don't change anything
- love interactions between characters-10 <-- This is my favorite and the reason I keep coming back for more.
- evoking emotional response from you-10 <-- Your story puts me at the edge of my seat or laughing out loud.
- original characters (Mai, brat Akira, master Sekiguchi, dead captain Harada, daimyo Asakura, Shinji etc.)- 10 <-- I like that all your characters stay true to there personalities and don't suddenly go OOC.
Anyway, I wonder if Inuyasha's group will figure out Mai is married? Please update soon!!!
Thanks.
DeleteI wonder too... Ooops I know..
My opinion
ReplyDeleteHumor: 10
Action and plot: 10
Love and interaction between characters: 10
Invoking emotional response: 10
OC:10
Everything is perfect.
Keep going:D
Great chapter
Seriously? Aren't you a little bit too optimistic? ;-)
DeleteThank you.
humor 9
ReplyDelete- action and plot 10
- love interactions between characters 10
- evoking emotional response from you 10
- original characters 10
I bet it will be hilarious when inuyashas group finds out!
Update please!
Sure it will be amusing!
Delete- humor 5 <-- I don't really look to the story for humor, I mean some things make me smile or giggle but nothing extremely funny, which isn't exactly necessary.
ReplyDelete- action and plot 8
- love interactions between characters 8
- evoking emotional response from you 9
- original characters 10
Humor 5? Omg, I feel like a dude who just told a joke and there was dead silence afterwards...
DeleteThanks for the evaluation!
Hi, I always love your chapters. I look forward to each and every one. I admit I'm gonna be sad when this story ends though. But it was definitely a good one, no dout about it. I hope you decide to write more. An idea just popped in mind now. I think a story of how Rin grows up and falls in love would be an awesome one too. Definitely following this storyline though. I think it would be amazing. Just an idea. :)
ReplyDeleteNow for the rating...Let's see! :)
Humor was really good, I think I would rate it a 8.5 me thinks.
Action and plot was amazing as ever. Never know what you'll have in store for us, so I think I'll give you a 10 on that.
Love interactions between characters is very good. Love Mai's the best, she is so funny about expressing her's. :) Always love Sango and Kagome's too. I rate you 9.5.
Evoking emotional response from you. Hmm.. I'm always on the edge of my seat, and find myself giggling, thrown back by some some characters' behaviors, etc. Rate it a 9.
Original characters (Mai, brat Akira, master Sekiguchi, dead captain Harada, daimyo Asakura, Shinji etc.) are done very well. I love Mai's character. She is a very strong-willed young lady and knows what she is after, and I respect that. Akira, the brat was a very funny character. I love that kid, and loved his "awwed and respect" that he shows around Sesshoumaru. He really viewed him as a mentor. I'm sure he'll turn out to be a fine young man. Master Sekiguchi was the older man on the boat that taught young Akira's lessons right? We didn't see alot of him, but from what I could tell, he was a good man. He was able to get Sesshoumaru and Mai aboard the ship in the first place. He was an interesting character, and was able to help keep Sesshoumaru out of trouble which is a miracle in it's self. The Captain Harada was a fun character, I really like him, and his relationship with Sesshoumaru and the advise he gave Sesshoumaru as well. He seemed to be a decent fellow. I wish he could have stay longer in the story and that we could have seen more of this character and personality. I had to look Shinji up. I had almost forgot about him. He was so far up in the beginning chapters. He was a good young him, and he was even willing to give Mai up to Sesshoumaru instead of taking her hand in marriage. Not many guys back in that era would have done that. Mai was very lucky there. He seemed to be a very kind-hearted and thoughtful young fellow. I like him too. I loved alot the other characters too. They didn't feel like they were just given a name and title and slapped on there. They had real character and personality. They seemed like they could really go in the series Inuyasha. So I think I will give you a 10 for them. :)
Over all, I love it and I'm not really sure how else to say it. This chapter was good too, but I was hoping that Mai would come out and say she was married just to see what the others would do and react to it. I'm sure they would have fell out of their seats if they really knew what Mai's visit was really for! lol :) ~Bloodylilcorpse
- humor : I really do enjoy your humor for the fact you 'dare' to cross some lines, other authors are afraid of. It's an important and really good part of your story and therefore i grant you 9 friggin points! (you could use it a little bit more often though ^^ )
ReplyDelete- action and plot : And the first place goes to ... action and plot!!! 10 !!! LOVE the interesting plot twists, where as a reader all you think is: nononononononononoNOOO.... and then BOOM ! the whole party is safe again and even better than before!! i reallyreally love the way you get mai out of the most despereate situations!! seriously , it's rare and AWESOME.
- love interactions between characters - well... I'd give it 7 points for there could be more love (especially from mai ^^ ) and it's good that Captn Fluffy stays the way he is.
- evoking emotional response from you - until now ... 9 points I sometimes was really excited how the hell thos thickheads are going to get outta there, but I didn't cry yet... (check up later review ^^ don't know now)
- original characters (Mai, brat Akira, master Sekiguchi, dead captain Harada, daimyo Asakura, Shinji etc.) - this really depends from chara to chara. some, e.g. daimyo asakura were very well written but lacked a little bit at character traits. others were depending on their character traits, but were a little hard to imagine. But there was a good variety and creativity used so i shall give you 8 and a half points!! ^_^ <3