Saturday, September 15, 2012

Chapter 138



Gossip time







“It is a dog-like demon, who appears every night and preys on young unmarried women.” A richly clad village leader said.

Monk Miroku nodded his head with concern.

“Don’t worry, we’ll defeat the fearsome demon.” He assured the man. The rest of Inuyasha’s group waited for Miroku to settle everything. Although the monk found them a rich house to spend the night, it seemed, that tonight they will have to perform real exorcisms instead of usual fake ones.

“You will have as much food as you can eat.” The village leader said enthusiastically. “And of course my home is your home till morning.”

Miroku smiled widely.

“It is settled, then. How about the young women?” he asked, lecherous grin on his face. The monk’s hopes quickly dissolved, as he got whacked with hiraikotsu on the head by furious Sango.

“Ouch!” Miroku whined.

Suddenly, Inuyasha tensed, sniffing the air. He recognized a familiar scent.

“Sesshomaru is coming.” He warned his companions. Soon after that they saw a huge white dog gliding under the clouds. Everyone gasped. Sango narrowed her eyes.

“That is…” she began.

“It’s Sesshomaru in his true form.” Kagome explained, having in mind, that only she and Inuyasha were the ones to see the dog demon in such a form.

“He’s huge.” Shippo commented. Inuyasha folded his arms.

“Keh! Our old man was way bigger.” He muttered.

At the sight of the inu-youkai approaching their village, the peasants panicked. They were running to their houses and hiding their daughters.

“Mononoke!” they screamed.

The village leader paled and pointed his shaking finger at Sesshomaru.

“That’s that youkai!” he exclaimed. The hanyou rolled his eyes.

“Nah, it isn’t.” he answered. The man turned purple o the face.

“Do you accuse me of lying?! When I say, that it is the youkai, that’s plaguing my village for months, it is the truth!” he stated firmly. Inuyasha narrowed his eyes and glared at the man, lifting his fist.

“Do you think, that I wouldn’t recognize my own brother, you fat idiot?” the hanyou snapped and the village leader gawked at him, surprised.

”B-b-brother?” he stuttered.

However, Inuyasha didn’t have a chance to answer, as the ground trembled when Sesshomaru’s huge form landed in front of their group. They noticed a figure clad in brightly red kimono on his back, waving to them happily.

“Mai!” Kagome exclaimed. The other girl slipped off the dog demon’s back and ran to hug her friend.

“Hi, everyone!” Mai greeted Inuyasha’s group. The inu-youkai assumed his usual form and looked at his younger brother.

“Guard her.” Sesshomaru said dryly. “If something happens to her, I will kill you.”
Inuyasha gawked at his brother and his sudden demand.

“What…” he began, but the dog demon interrupted him, addressing Mai.

“Woman, I will retrieve you in two days.” He said. The girl nodded.

“Okay. See you then.” She answered, smiling, and waved to him. The inu-youkai transformed himself into the lighting ball and darted off.

Everyone’s eyes turned on Mai. Inuyasha approached her and glared at her suspiciously.

“What the hell are you doing here?” he asked. The girl glared at him back.

“It’s not your business.” She snapped at him. “I came to visit Kagome.”

“Keh!” the hanyou folded his arms. “Are you expecting me to buy, that that bastard Sesshomaru carried you all the way here on his back, so you could gossip with Kagome?”

Mai grinned widely.

“That’s right.” She said, proud of herself. “I might have misled him a little, though.”
Inuyasha shut up and silence fell. Kagome came to Mai and hugged her.

“It’s great, that we’ll have finally chance to talk! There’s an indoor onsen here, so maybe we could use a long relaxing bath?”

Mai grinned back to Kagome and nodded enthusiastically.
 
“With pleasure!” she exclaimed and looked at the demon-slayer. “Sango, you’re coming too, right?”

“Of course.” Sango nodded, equally excited about the perspective of a hot bath and rest. She scanned Mai up and down. “Mai-chan, you should choose your clothes more carefully next time.”

Both Kagome and Mai looked at her, confused. Miroku and Inuyasha nodded their heads. The brown haired girl looked down at her attire and furrowed her brows. Right, it was extremely fancy, but aside that everything seemed to be perfectly okay with it.

“Umm… why?” she asked the demon slayer. Sango’s cheeks flushed slightly.

“It’s just…” she began, slightly embarrassed. “It is inappropriate for a maiden like you to wear this.”

Mai tilted her head, baffled with the explanation even more. Kagome also gawked at Sango without having a clue, what the demon-slayer meant. Seeing the confusion on the girl’s faces, Miroku sighed heavily and decided to take the burden of explaining it properly. He cleared his throat.

“As you aren’t from this time you probably don’t know it, Mai, but the kimono you’re wearing is strictly reserved for the women of royal upbringing, that have just married. The red color of your uchike represents a wish to bear a healthy child.” The monk said seriously.

“Oh.” Mai muttered. She should have expected something like that from her devilish mother-in-law. 

So the demon woman even had an ulterior motive when it came to choosing the clothes for the girl.

“She couldn’t have possibly known.” Kagome said, defending Mai.

“Hmm…” Inuyasha muttered, approaching the brown-haired girl and carefully examining her richly embroidered uchike. The hanyou grabbed her sleeve and touched the fabric, furrowing his brows. “I could have sworn, that my mother had the same. She said, that she got it from my old man, when she told him that I will be born.”

Mai stiffened at the words. Crap. Too much information. She wasn’t eager to share the “happy” news with her friends yet and got seriously scared, that they’d figure it out.

“It’s just a coincidence.” She said quickly, pulling the sleeve out of Inuyasha’s grasp. “The woman at the shop said, that it was fashionable sometime ago.”

The hanyou raised his eyebrow.

“Two hundred years ago?” he asked suspiciously. Mai gulped. Luckily, Kagome helped her out.

“Just drop it, Inuyasha.” She said, dragging Sango after her and gripping Mai. “We’re going to the bath!”




Mai wrapped the towel around herself and slipped into the hot water, where Kagome and Sango were already waiting. She relaxed.

“Fabulous!” she purred, contented.

“Yeah.” Kagome agreed and Sango nodded. The black haired girl glanced at Mai, who was soaking with a facial expression of a pure bliss.

“Mai, how’s the travelling with Sesshomaru?” she asked, moving closer to her friend. The girl’s eyes snapped open at the mention of her demonic husband’s name. Suddenly she remembered, why she came here in the first place. Mai sighed.

“It’s okay most of the time. Quite safe, and the company is good. Oh, speaking of company,” she 
looked at Sango. “Kohaku is travelling with us. But I guess, that you already know it.”

The demon’s eyes opened wider.

“Kohaku… is he all right?!” she exclaimed, worry all over her face. Mai smiled at her.

“Sound and safe. Don’t worry about him, I’m sure that Sesshomaru will keep him in one piece. I think, that it will be better if he stays with us for some time, though.” She said. At her words Sango looked like she just had been slapped.

“He doesn’t want to see me?” she asked frantically. Mai shook her head.

“No, it’s not that. It’s just… he has to cope with a few things on his own. Kohaku loves you and feels guilty about his deeds. He isn’t ready to face you yet, Sango. You have to give him some more time.” Mai explained the boy’s feelings the best she could. The demon-slayer nodded, acknowledging her words.

“I understand. Will you tell Kohaku, that I love and miss him?” she asked Mai. The brown-haired girl smiled.

“Sure.”

The girls stayed silent for a while, before Mai spoke

“Kagome, I have a certain problem. I thought, that you could give me some advice.” She said, gaining her friends attention. Kagome’s eyes brightened and she clenched her fists with fanatical determination.

“You can count on me!” she exclaimed. “Just tell me, what it is about.”

“Hmm…” Mai hesitated to speak, as she was considering, what she could tell her friend and what was out of question. “I have some problems with Sesshomaru recently. We quarrel a lot and he’s really unbearable…”

Kagome’s smile dropped and she grabbed Mai’s shoulders, looking her seriously in the face.

“Did he do something to you?” she demanded, emitting scary aura. Mai shook her head.

“No, no, it’s not it!” she said quickly. Actually, now she feared the most, that Sesshomaru would smooch her to oblivion or prey on her chastity, but she couldn’t possibly tell Kagome that. She looked at her friend, who calmed down a little. “I just wanted to ask you, how you handle Inuyasha, when he has those horrible attitude problems.”

“Oh.” Kagome furrowed her brows, deep in thought. “Sometimes I try to talk some sense into him, but it doesn’t have any effect. I usually ‘sit’ him.”

“Hmm… I don’t think, that it would work on Sesshomaru, even if Mai would get another beads of subjection.” Sango said. Kagome nodded in agreement.

“Why not?” Mai asked. Personally she thought, that it would be quite a show to slam the demonic asshole into the dirt, like Kagome did to Inuyasha. Kagome’s facial expression showed, that she was sharing Mai’s opinion. Sango sighed.

“Isn’t Sesshomaru rather resistant to the holy things?” the demon-slayer asked.

“Damn. You’re right, Sango-chan.” Kagome said. “He once caught my purifying arrow with his bare hands. He’s pretty much resistant to everything.”

“I’m in a deep shit.” Mai commented. Damn, why Sesshomaru must be a horribly powerful Taiyoukai? He wouldn’t be that troublesome if he wasn’t.

“How about smelly powders?” Sango suggested. “The youkai with acute smell sense are often weak to them.”

Mai’s eyes brightened. She clearly remembered, that he disliked them. In case of emergency it could prove useful – he wouldn’t be knocked down, but a little distraction was better than nothing at all.

“It’s a great idea, Sango!” she exclaimed, clapping her hands. “Could you borrow me some?”

“Sure.” The demon-slayer replied and also moved closer to Mai, narrowing her eyes. “What is it?” she asked, brushing Mai’s hair aside. As Kagome gasped, covering her mouth, the girl realized what her friends saw and blushed fiercely.

“Mai, you’ve got hickeys all over your neck!” Kagome exclaimed happily, her eyes glistening mischievously. Sango also smiled, her cheeks flushed a little.

“Without doubt, those are the kiss marks.” The demon-slayer giggled. “Who made them?”

Mai’s face turned scarlet. She couldn’t just casually say, that it was the fearsome demon Sesshomaru, who enthusiastically smooched her all over the morning after they got married. Kagome grinned smugly.

“At least we know now, about what she and Sesshomaru are arguing.” She said to Sango. The demon-slayer nodded. Both of them were behaving as though Mai wasn’t even present.

“Sesshomaru must be jealous of that man.” Sango stated.

“Eh?” Mai gawked at the girls. Did that mean, that they didn’t figure out, that it was Sesshomaru’s work? Kagome looked her in the eye.

“You must tell us all about this mysterious stranger, who kissed you like that!” she exclaimed happily. Sango also nodded, equally interested in the story. Mai felt a wave of relief wash over her – they were clueless. She decided to make up some story to satisfy her friends’ curiosity.

“There was this guy, that I met while Sesshomaru was away. It happened in some village. He was the samurai, who saved me from a bandit, while I was shopping on the market. We talked and he was so romantic and then he did it… but only kissing! ” she said harshly, seeing, that Kagome was getting some crazy ideas. “Then I left with the demonic bastard never to see the man again.”
Sango sighed, the dreamy look on her face.

“To meet a stranger in secret, it’s romantic. You must have fell in love with him…” the demon slayer sighed again, feeling moved by the short story. Kagome wiped her nose with the hem of her towel.

“Of course she loves him.” Her friend stated firmly. “Right, Mai?”
Mai gawked at her, shifting uneasily under Kagome’s gaze.

“I wouldn’t call it so…” she began, but the black haired girl cut in.

“Maybe you just haven’t realized it yet. Sango-chan didn’t realize right away, that she loves Miroku.” Kagome lectured Mai. 

The demon-slayer blushed fiercely and backed away, not wanting to draw more attention than necessary. As Mai looked into Kagome’s face, she felt that all hope for her was lost. Her friend had her match-making-mission facial expression, that always indicated, that she was about to meddle in someone’s private life. Unfortunately, Mai was now that someone.
 
“You didn’t have a boyfriend before, right?” Kagome asked. Mai shook her head. The strolls with the murderous monster Maeda Goemon could count as dating, but she didn’t want to even remember that. The black haired girl smiled triumphantly. “Then you may be in love and have no clue about it. There are some signs, that indicate that you love the boy.”

“Signs?” Mai repeated, tilting her head and wondering if Kagome knew that from her own experience or rather read a few teen-magazines too much. Her friend cleared the throat.

“Were you self-conscious or embarrassed or your heart was beating super-fast?” she asked.

“Kind off…” Mai muttered, thinking that it would be hard not to be self-conscious when a half-naked man lies on you and tries to do you. Especially if he is a handsome devil.

“Do you feel like relaying on him?” Kagome asked. Seeing Mai’s confused face, she rephrased the question. “It’s like me and Inuyasha – I am certain, that he will come to save me.”

“That matches.” Mai agreed. It was the basics of her relationship with Sesshomaru: she got in trouble and he always saved her. Kagome’s eyes were practically glowing with excitement.

“When you think about him being with an another woman, do you feel jealousy? You know…” she 
inquired.

“Maybe some…” Mai agreed, remembering her own murderous thoughts towards Kasumi, when she kissed Sesshomaru on the cheek. Or when she saw him in the brothel… Unconsciously, she clenched her fist, what made Kagome and Sango burst in laughter. The girl narrowed her eyes, glaring at her friends. There was nothing funny in that all her answers were accidentally positive. The black-haired girl patted her the back.

“Mai, honey, you’re in love with him.” She decided.

Mai stared at her friend. It took a while till Kagome’s diagnose reached her. She in love with Sesshomaru? Suddenly blood rushed to her face, covering it in bright red blush.

“No way!” she exclaimed, angry at the mere thought. “It’s not possible… not with that arrogant, self-centered, idiotic bastard! I hate his guts! Ugh! He sickens me, that self-satisfied smirk of his!”
Kagome moved closer to Sango.

“She’s in denial. I guess, that every girl goes through that phase.” The schoolgirl whispered to the demon-slayer.

“It can’t be helped.” Sango agreed.




The girls got out of the bath and went to relax in the garden, while the boys were roaming somewhere around the village. Kagome and Sango kept teasing Mai about romancing with an imaginary mysterious stranger, claiming that she was in love with him. 

Mai sighed heavily, as the real situation was far more complicated, than her friends pictured it. She was now a demon’s wife and had mess in her head. Sesshomaru was making her mad most of the time, as his character and behavior were… unique, given that he was a youkai. He wasn’t a bad person though – he had a lot of positive traits, that Mai acknowledged: he knew what honor was, didn’t lie, was brave, was ready to risk his life for the ones he cared about without a hesitation, sometimes he even was kind in his own way. If only he had a better attitude… she could grow to… 

She shook her head. What the hell was she thinking. Good character traits? The bad ones overweighed the good ones. And he was a demon! And it didn’t matter how sinfully attractive he was! The girl blushed at the thought of seeing him only in his hakama. Damn, he looked horribly tempting that time, especially with his skin damp with sweat, that really awoke some animal attraction in her. Mai was at loss – she didn’t know anymore what did she want. Sesshomaru was usually a horrible demon bastard, but on the other hand he could be a decent guy, almost likeable. She even enjoyed his company sometimes…

The truth was, that she was sentenced to spend the rest of her life with him, whether she liked it or not. It was possible to get divorced, but rather unlikely. Maybe it was the time to focus on positive things? She brushed her fingers over the silver hairpin, he gave her once. Sesshomaru was not bad at all…




“What’s wrong with her?” Inuyasha asked casually, pointing at Mai, as he, Miroku and Shippo, along with Kirara came back from the village. Kagome and Sango grinned widely.

“Oh, Mai just realized, that she is in love with certain handsome samurai, but she’s still in denial.” Kagome answered happily. Mai narrowed her eyes and whacked her friend on her stupid head.

“Ouch!” Kagome yelped, clutching her aching head, but still smiling smugly. Mai folded her arms.

“I’m not in love with him.” She stated firmly, but her friend didn’t want to give up.

“Yes, you are. Admit it!” Kagome exclaimed. Sango muffled a giggle with her hand. Mai was lifting her fist to punch her friend again, when Inuyasha let out an impressive yawn, showing all his teeth.

“I pity the guy.” He said. The girls looked at him.

“Why?” Sango asked. The hanyou smiled mischievously, looking straight at Mai.

“Because he doesn’t have much to live. Sesshomaru will slice him, once he finds out.” He said, grinning widely and sending Mai cheeky look. “He won’t let anybody HUG her.”

The girl narrowed her eyes and glared at Inuyasha hatefully, knowing what he was talking about – the time he caught her and Sesshomaru embracing. Damn him! Damn her husband and all his relatives! Technically, the hanyou was now her brother-in-law. Great, another fantastic family member to the collection, along with the insufferable husband and mother-in-law from hell. Just wonderful.

“We must think, how to ambush this youkai tonight. It is almost sunset.” Miroku spoke, luckily averting everyone’s attention from Mai’s complicated love life.

“I think, that it will be the best to bait him.” Sango voiced her expert opinion. “The village leader said, that the demon prays on the young unmarried women.”

“All right!” Inuyasha exclaimed loudly, slamming his fist against the palm. “We’ll bait him with a woman then.”

“Who should be the bait?” Sango asked. The hanyou grinned.

“Isn’t it obvious?” he asked and pointed at Mai. “Her.”

The girl narrowed her eyes and stalked to Inuyasha. She grabbed his hair and gave it a tug, emphasizing her protest.

“I’m not going to be a bait!” she hissed out at him, pulling the hair with every word. “Pick someone else!”

“You’re the most useless!” the hanyou shouted at her back, fighting to free his hair from her grip. 

“Let go, you crazy wench!”

“Shut up you brainless dog!” she shrieked back. Kagome rolled her eyes and came to them.

“Both of you, stop it! You’re behaving like the kids from kindergarten!” she scolded Mai and Inuyasha, trying to pull them apart. 

The girl let go of Inuyasha’s hair and the hanyou also made a step back, growling at her. Kagome sighed heavily.

Miroku scratched his chin.

“Inuyasha is right.” He said slowly. “You are the most suited to be the bait. Sango and Kagome-sama can be needed in combat.”

Mai frowned.

“And I’m useless?” she muttered. The monk smiled.

“Of course not! You can help us by luring the youkai into our trap. As a young, unmarried woman you will be a perfect bait!” he was convincing her. 

Mai tilted her head. Miroku didn’t know, that of all the girls she was the one who was a married woman. But some demon wouldn’t possibly know that, would he? Besides, it wouldn’t hurt to help them out. 

“All right. Just tell me what to do.” She agreed finally.





An hour later, Mai was sitting in the garden, alone. She was supposed to act as a weak defenseless woman, so she was just resting on the bench and staring at the trees. Kagome, Inuyasha and the rest were hidden in the house, ready to strike once the youkai shows up and comes closer. The girl thought, that she would die from the boredom, when she heard a rustling in the bushes. A demon showed up! A large black and white dog was crawling towards her. Mai was observing it with the corner of her eye, now wanting the youkai know, that she realized his presence. The dog was quite big, like a small horse, but in comparison with Sesshomaru he appeared to be a tiny puppy. Suddenly the demon stopped and was sniffing the air for some time, before he disappeared. Mai was sitting in place for some time, till it was apparent, that he wouldn’t show again.

“Inuyasha.” She whispered, sure that he’ll be able to hear.

“What?!” a rude whisper answered her. 

Mai rolled her eyes at his attitude, that had to be a family trait.

“Maybe we should switch the bait. Maybe he’ll like Sango or Kagome more.” She suggested. 

Mai suspected, that the demon somehow figured out, that she wasn’t an unmarried woman. Maybe it was some sixth sense or it was the fault of her attire – either way, he was right.

There was silence for some time, as Inuyasha and the rest were making a decision. Finally, Mai heard Inuyasha’s whisper again.

“All right, come here.” The hanyou said quietly. 

The girl stood up and marched to the house. She joined the group inside. For the new bait they chose Kagome, who went and sat on the bench.

Five minutes didn’t pass till the demon approached Kagome. Like before, he stopped to sniff the air, but this time he darted forward.

“Inuyasha, now!” Miroku cried, sliding the door open. 

The hanyou leapt into the garden. His sharp claws glowed in the moonlight as he swiftly moved his hand.

“Sankontessou!” he exclaimed and effortlessly slashed the startled demon, finishing everything.

“That was quick.” Sango commented.

“I pity the youkai. He didn’t stand a chance.” Mai added. 

Even though both Inuyasha and the his opponent were dog-like demons, with her brother-in-law being only half-demon, the hanyou had still a crushing advantage. Apparently it was the blood of a Taiyoukai, that ran in his veins. The girl wondered, if she ever would have a child, would be it as strong as Inuyasha? Probably yes.

“Keh! That was easy.” The hanyou snorted. “Let’s go eat.”



Author Note:

Okay, I have a survey for you. Please write me in your comments which aspect of the story you like most. Please be harsh and try to give points from 1 to 10:

- humor
- action and plot
- love interactions between characters
- evoking emotional response from you
- original characters (Mai, brat Akira, master Sekiguchi, dead captain Harada, daimyo Asakura, Shinji etc.)

21 comments:

  1. ok so here it is my opinion if you need it.

    - humor--8
    - action and plot---10
    - love interactions between characters---9
    - evoking emotional response from you----10
    - original characters (Mai, brat Akira, master Sekiguchi, dead captain Harada, daimyo Asakura, Shinji etc.)---10

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the opinion. Maybe I should work on humor... everyone gave it 8...

      Delete
  2. Author-san, please update...and, for your survey. I sent a PM to you, regarding my opinion in everything about the story. Hope it helps...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow. Your review was amazing. I'm really impressed and grateful that you scrificed your time to write me such an extensive message. Thanks for the sincerity and of course I don't mind if there's a pinch of criticism. I'm rather immune to it and I think that constructive critique is much more valuable than simple flattery since it helps excel.
      Once more - thank you!

      Delete
    2. It was a pleasure :3 hehe

      Delete
  3. Ha! Even if she denies it, the proof of her marriage is there
    Humor: 8
    Action and plot: 10
    Love and interaction between characters: 9
    Invoking emotional response: 9
    OC: has to be harada, since I liked him so much with so little screen time
    -Midnighter67

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thank you for evaluating the story. I liked Harada too. He was my favourite character. It's a shame I've murdered him.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Heyho
    Congratulation for this amazing story
    I never left a review before, mostly because of my terrible English, but your story is worth every review you can get.
    I'm really in love with your writing style and your ability to keep every character in character^^. I like Mai and all the other Oc you put in your story.

    humor 9 <--- I don't think you have to work on your humor. Often it simple don't fit in the situation and the funny parts in your ff are hilarious:D

    action and plot 10 <---In this point you don't have to change anything. This is simply perfect

    love interactions between characters 10 <--- maybe a bit scanty but there is nothing you can do about it. Sesshomaru or in this arc Mai are spoiling the mood :O

    evoking emotional response from you <-- I'm sorry, but i don't get this point^^ English is apparently not my first language and google isn't helpful either T.T

    original characters: I like every Oc, naturally Mai the most. Beside her I've grown to like the little Akira (he was an oc, right?) Even the evil one had there important parts and made everything interesting

    I think this is everything I've to say:D
    This is really an incredible piece of work. You can be proud of yourself.
    Maybe someday I can read an original book from you^^
    I can't wait to read the next chapter, so please update fast *-*
    Again I'm sorry for my English, but I'm the proof, that your story is international popular.
    Hahah, I just need to feel special again, 'cause I could never write a story like yours.
    Even when I'm not the only here from an other country:D
    You are going to read more from me hopefully soon^^
    - See ya Mizuki Meiro

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you very much for the charming review.

      Delete
  6. I especially Loved this chapter!:)
    - humor-10
    - action and plot-10
    - love interactions between characters-10 (The way you make Sesshomaru lovey is incredible)
    - evoking emotional response from you-10
    - original characters (Mai, brat Akira, master Sekiguchi, dead captain Harada, daimyo Asakura, Shinji etc.)9

    I love the way you write, etc. Sorry if my rating isn't harsh enough~Quagomay

    ReplyDelete
  7. HI!!! I love this story so here are my critiques....

    - humor-8 <-- I like the jokes and funny situations alot but I feel sometimes it wasn't needed.
    - action and plot-10 <-- Don't change anything
    - love interactions between characters-10 <-- This is my favorite and the reason I keep coming back for more.
    - evoking emotional response from you-10 <-- Your story puts me at the edge of my seat or laughing out loud.
    - original characters (Mai, brat Akira, master Sekiguchi, dead captain Harada, daimyo Asakura, Shinji etc.)- 10 <-- I like that all your characters stay true to there personalities and don't suddenly go OOC.

    Anyway, I wonder if Inuyasha's group will figure out Mai is married? Please update soon!!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. My opinion

    Humor: 10
    Action and plot: 10
    Love and interaction between characters: 10
    Invoking emotional response: 10
    OC:10

    Everything is perfect.
    Keep going:D
    Great chapter

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seriously? Aren't you a little bit too optimistic? ;-)
      Thank you.

      Delete
  9. humor 9
    - action and plot 10
    - love interactions between characters 10
    - evoking emotional response from you 10
    - original characters 10
    I bet it will be hilarious when inuyashas group finds out!
    Update please!

    ReplyDelete
  10. - humor 5 <-- I don't really look to the story for humor, I mean some things make me smile or giggle but nothing extremely funny, which isn't exactly necessary.
    - action and plot 8
    - love interactions between characters 8
    - evoking emotional response from you 9
    - original characters 10

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Humor 5? Omg, I feel like a dude who just told a joke and there was dead silence afterwards...
      Thanks for the evaluation!

      Delete
  11. Hi, I always love your chapters. I look forward to each and every one. I admit I'm gonna be sad when this story ends though. But it was definitely a good one, no dout about it. I hope you decide to write more. An idea just popped in mind now. I think a story of how Rin grows up and falls in love would be an awesome one too. Definitely following this storyline though. I think it would be amazing. Just an idea. :)

    Now for the rating...Let's see! :)


    Humor was really good, I think I would rate it a 8.5 me thinks.

    Action and plot was amazing as ever. Never know what you'll have in store for us, so I think I'll give you a 10 on that.

    Love interactions between characters is very good. Love Mai's the best, she is so funny about expressing her's. :) Always love Sango and Kagome's too. I rate you 9.5.

    Evoking emotional response from you. Hmm.. I'm always on the edge of my seat, and find myself giggling, thrown back by some some characters' behaviors, etc. Rate it a 9.

    Original characters (Mai, brat Akira, master Sekiguchi, dead captain Harada, daimyo Asakura, Shinji etc.) are done very well. I love Mai's character. She is a very strong-willed young lady and knows what she is after, and I respect that. Akira, the brat was a very funny character. I love that kid, and loved his "awwed and respect" that he shows around Sesshoumaru. He really viewed him as a mentor. I'm sure he'll turn out to be a fine young man. Master Sekiguchi was the older man on the boat that taught young Akira's lessons right? We didn't see alot of him, but from what I could tell, he was a good man. He was able to get Sesshoumaru and Mai aboard the ship in the first place. He was an interesting character, and was able to help keep Sesshoumaru out of trouble which is a miracle in it's self. The Captain Harada was a fun character, I really like him, and his relationship with Sesshoumaru and the advise he gave Sesshoumaru as well. He seemed to be a decent fellow. I wish he could have stay longer in the story and that we could have seen more of this character and personality. I had to look Shinji up. I had almost forgot about him. He was so far up in the beginning chapters. He was a good young him, and he was even willing to give Mai up to Sesshoumaru instead of taking her hand in marriage. Not many guys back in that era would have done that. Mai was very lucky there. He seemed to be a very kind-hearted and thoughtful young fellow. I like him too. I loved alot the other characters too. They didn't feel like they were just given a name and title and slapped on there. They had real character and personality. They seemed like they could really go in the series Inuyasha. So I think I will give you a 10 for them. :)

    Over all, I love it and I'm not really sure how else to say it. This chapter was good too, but I was hoping that Mai would come out and say she was married just to see what the others would do and react to it. I'm sure they would have fell out of their seats if they really knew what Mai's visit was really for! lol :) ~Bloodylilcorpse

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  12. - humor : I really do enjoy your humor for the fact you 'dare' to cross some lines, other authors are afraid of. It's an important and really good part of your story and therefore i grant you 9 friggin points! (you could use it a little bit more often though ^^ )
    - action and plot : And the first place goes to ... action and plot!!! 10 !!! LOVE the interesting plot twists, where as a reader all you think is: nononononononononoNOOO.... and then BOOM ! the whole party is safe again and even better than before!! i reallyreally love the way you get mai out of the most despereate situations!! seriously , it's rare and AWESOME.
    - love interactions between characters - well... I'd give it 7 points for there could be more love (especially from mai ^^ ) and it's good that Captn Fluffy stays the way he is.
    - evoking emotional response from you - until now ... 9 points I sometimes was really excited how the hell thos thickheads are going to get outta there, but I didn't cry yet... (check up later review ^^ don't know now)
    - original characters (Mai, brat Akira, master Sekiguchi, dead captain Harada, daimyo Asakura, Shinji etc.) - this really depends from chara to chara. some, e.g. daimyo asakura were very well written but lacked a little bit at character traits. others were depending on their character traits, but were a little hard to imagine. But there was a good variety and creativity used so i shall give you 8 and a half points!! ^_^ <3

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